Marlene Jean Brown
Marlene Brown 25-08-1961 to 06-03-2008 aged just 46.

  1. 20/06/2007 the first CT scan.
  2. 21/06/2007 further MR scan.
  3. 25/06/2007 first meeting with surgeon.
  4. 09/07/2007 initial operation.
  5. 15/08/2007 1st discharge date.
  6. 06/11/2007 2nd operation.
  7. 06/03/2008 passed away…

In June 2007 Marlene and I were practicing golf and I noticed Marlene slavered unexpectedly, I pointed out to Marlene that this wasn't normal and she should inform her doctor straight away. You might not be aware but Marlene had been unwell for quite some time always feeling tired and suffering from niggling little aches and pains, nothing major and didn’t stop her living a full life… She’d undergone extensive tests, even having a camera into her heart to make sure it wasn’t anything to do with the heart murmur we’d always known she’d had.

So she changed her doctor and explained everything and within less than a week Marlene had numerous brain scans and it immediately revealed the massive Meningioma tumour at the very top of her brain stem. As the brain consultant said “it’s in the worst possible place”. But he was prepared to operate as if it wasn’t removed quickly shed suffer consequences within 3 months.

This type of benign tumour is most common in women between 40 and 60 years of age. They’re not hereditary in any way and they don’t know the actual cause. They are very slow growing so their presence is only noticed when they eventually apply too much pressure on the surrounding brain tissue. The surgeon said she’d probably had it for decades … If it weren’t for the position the average outcome is very successful.

Within 2 weeks of the initial diagnosis Marlene was in for the 1st of the planned 2 stage operation to remove it.

In late August Marlene was allowed to return home early due to us living in a single storey house with no stairs and already having the bathroom converted to their instructions, walk-in shower, with a seat and grab rails etc…

Marlene was left with facial muscle loss to the left side of her face and all her left side very weakened, her eyes were no longer coordinated so they eventually surgically closed her left eye to stop the double vision and avoid any damage as her tear duct wasn’t functioning, always planning to correct this when the tumour had been fully removed. Her balance was also affected together with her ability to swallow. Initially she could only drink very slowly through a straw and she couldn’t enjoy her favourite tipple, her red wine. She’d become quite a connoisseur on her red wine…

Marlene handled her disabilities unbelievably  well… with no bitterness what so ever… eventually she started to be able to walk all be it with a frame at first then with a stick but mostly just linking my arm… We used to go most mornings to her health club at the Marriott hotel, swimming, Jacuzzi and steam room she loved that and eventually long walks together in the afternoon… but we always knew we had this dark cloud of having the further surgery.

On November the 6th 2008 Marlene went in for her second operation having been informed that they’d done the most complicated one 1st but as with any brain surgery there was always high risks… we were both keen to get it over with as soon as possible so it was decided to go before Christmas thinking she’d be home for Christmas as they’d already done the hard one.

Unfortunately this second operation didn’t go as planned and Marlene suffered blood flow loss to the left side of her brain and I was informed they hadn’t been able to get the entire tumour. I was also informed if Marlene does pull through she would be severely paralysed down her good side the right. It was that bad I was asked “if Marlene goes into cardiac arrest did I want her to be resuscitated?”

After several months Marlene finally started to show signs of recovery, she was being feed via a tube directly into her tummy and breathing unaided but through a trachea… her last days showing the most improvement. In fact the night prior to her passing she actually showed that she recognised me for the 1st time and started to cry every time I said I was going, she just wouldn’t let me go… I eventually had to say I was going to the toilet to sneak away… very excited and couldn’t wait for my next visit as she’d improved that much only to be awakened by the phone call at 7-30am to get back to the hospital as “Marlene had taken a turn for the worst”…

The actual cause of death was (Tracheoinnominate Artery Fistula) which happens in less than 0.3% so it’s very rare. Basically the trachea that she was breathing through caused an abrasion on her main artery which haemorrhaged causing a catastrophic loss of blood. The mortality rate of such is practically 100% even if immediate surgery is performed.

My only solace in this tragic affair is that I would like to think it just could have been a blessing in disguise as Marlene's standard of life was looking very suspect, it was looking as though she wouldn’t be able to walk plus as she’d never attempted to open her mouth it wasn’t sure shed be able to eat even talk.  She'd have to undergo further procedures which aren't without their consequences to remove the remaining part of the tumour, then all the planned corrective surgery etc...

Don’t get me wrong I’d already applied for planning permission to have a full care unit built onto the side of our house as I wasn’t going to have her in any type of care home and in all the over 4 months Marlene was in the hospital I didn’t miss one single visit, not one! Going every afternoon and evening mostly being the 1st in the queue to get in, if I could have gone more I would have. She was in the very best hospital for this kind of treatment called ‘Hope Hospital’ in Manchester its actually the training hospital for these types of procedures and the surgeon was the top man a Mr Scott Rutherford.

All I can say is I was very fortunate to have been unconditionally loved by such a very special kind person… and I’m so very sorry having to write this letter but I hope it helps knowing the main facts.

With my very best regards
Gary

I would like to add Mr Scott Rutherford, Marlene's neurologic surgeon just 3 weeks prior to her death told me & I quote "The Marlene you have now will bear no resemblance to the Marlene you'll have in 12 months time". He explained in a positive way, as when I asked him to explain further he explained about a similar patient he still see's in his out patience clinic who walks & talks and has a full meaningful life...
I was that chuffed I asked him to repeat this to me the very next day, which he obligingly did.
We was that close to making it!!

Marlene Brown Marlene Brown Brief history...Marle Brown brief history

Marlene was a true life Cinderella, being abandoned by her mother when her father died at the age of 3.
Her grandfather then looked after her for 2 years before again abandoning her to a convent at the age of 5.
Finally her God mother took her in at the age of 6. But Marlene had to earn her keep by doing the household choirs etc. Sent to state school whilst her step sister went to private school...
At the age of only 16 she was then sent to Jordan as a maid for King Hussein's lawyers. With all her earnings being paid direct to her god mother back in the Seychelles...
I'd like to mention however abhorrent, we may see this it wasn't out of the ordinary in those days.

Finally freedom came for Marlene when at just 18 years old we met and fell in love...

nb. Marlene always forgave and bore no bitterness, her biggest wish other than seeing her own grandchildren was for her family to be together at last... which it was at heart...

I'd also like to add many years ago I was going on a scuba diving trip & prior to me leaving, Marlene quite badly trapped her finger in the car door. An old friend & I burned a hole through her nail with a hot needle to relieve the pressure... She only allowed us to do this as she totally trusted me in such matters. (in such matters that tells a story)

The point of this is that when Marlene went into hospital she believed me when I said she'd be OK and all the time she was in hospital I kept telling her she'd be OK. So she wasn't as scared as she could have been...

I miss her so much, she was so bubbly, so alive, so positive about life... Her biggest fear was not to be around for her grandchildren...
I'm just thankful Marlene will never have to suffer this grief, as inevitably one of us had to go 1st... being much older I always thought quite selfishly it would be me ...
The worst times for me are when I allow myself to feel the warmth, naivety and safety of when Marlene was by my side...
My only strength now comes from our two fantastic sons... all credit must go to Marlene for that!! Their unbelievably helpful in this very trying time ...

Marlene & her big sister Luciana
Marlene & Luciana
Marlene & brothers Patrick & Yunas
Marlene Patrick & Yunas
So proud to be with her brothers.

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